Faith

“Mama, what exactly are you doing?” Parker asked from the back seat as I was waving a hand up towards the roof of the car singing at the top of my lungs. I looked in the rear view mirror and glanced at her face, her head tilted to the side the way a puppy does when it hears a strange sound.

I couldn’t help but crack up laughing. I was totally lost in my own little worship session while driving and Parker was just so thoroughly confused at the concert that was taking place in the front seat. (Just so we are clear, I was totally paying attention to the road as well, I had just also become a brilliant singer for a moment in time 😉

But y’all I could NOT help it.

Saturday night my husband and I were talking about the business and all that that entails, which is a lot. Now I do not speak for my husband but I want to share all the thoughts that are swirling around in my head. Throughout this whole “becoming business owners” process, you guys, in all honesty, I have felt very inadequate. I am sure that I have asked myself most of the questions y’all have asked yourselves when you heard I was starting my own business.

What is she thinking?

How can she do that while homeschooling her kids?

How does she have enough time?

What is she thinking?

How can they afford that?

She is taking on way too much!

Come on, what am I thinking?!?!

The truth is…… I can’t do it alone. And I don’t mean alone without my husband. Obviously this is a team effort and I couldn’t have been blessed with a better life partner, husband, father to our children, and now business partner, and I couldn’t do this without his love, support, and hard work.

But what I mean is, God is doing huge things. I can not do any of this without Him.

I have prayed from the beginning that if this were not God’s will, that He would slam, not just shut, but slam doors in our face. And He has showed up and made things happen. He has not only opened doors, but He has pointed me to the most amazing, helpful, and wonderful people.

I get lost in the idea of business plans, and finances, and which lots to purchase and from where. I have had meetings with people that I didn’t feel would take me seriously, I have had to stay up late or wake up early to research and prepare. I don’t want to miss something important, and I really want to do this well. So I pray. I have never prayed more.

Yesterday during church God showed up. He spoke volumes to me through my Pastor at church.

And then today, I met with a neat man who shared his expertise on all things business and God was there. When I left, I had more to do, more to correct, school to get done, people to contact, paint to buy, social media to update, house to clean, dishes to get done, goats to feed, and the list goes on and on.

I was driving home and feeling overwhelmed. So I put on music.

Do you want to know what song came on in the moment I needed it most?

I will trust in you by Lauren Daigle.

The song is amazing. This is some of it…….

When you don’t move the mountains, I’m needing you to move, When you don’t part the waters, I wish I could walk through. When you don’t give the answers, as I cry out to you. I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You.

Truth is, you know what tomorrow brings, there’s not a day ahead you have not seen. So let all things be my life and breath, I want what you want Lord and nothing less.

You are my strength and comfort, you are my steady hand. You are my firm foundation, the rock on which I stand, your ways are always higher, your plans are always good, there’s not a place where I go, you haven’t already stood

I don’t know what tomorrow holds, I never will. I am a hard worker and I will do the work needed to make this store succeed not just for myself but for my husband and more importantly for God, however I do recognize that most of that is out of my control. But I hold on to who is in control. There is not a day ahead that God has not seen, He has already been there and He is guiding me and that is so exciting.

I am praying, even now while I write, that I can be used to bring God glory. I want this store to be successful and I will do the work. I pray God’s will be done in all of it. Please if you think about it, say a quick prayer that I don’t take this responsibility lightly, that my mind and strength stays focused on Him and nothing less, in all that I do. Especially when it comes to my sweet babies, who are all in for a wild and crazy ride!!! But like I always tell them, if people don’t think you’re at least a little crazy, are you even really living?